You Marry Who You Date

Eight years ago today I was waiting in the Salt Lake temple for my fiancé to show up. He was late. I was panicking. I paced around in my wedding dress calling his phone—no answer. As I contemplated how to explain to our guests that I had been stood up he finally rushed through the door. Traffic and an uncharged phone are not a good mix on your wedding day.

While a lot has happened over the last eight years I can’t help but reflect on how we got to this point. It all started with that magical “D” word: DATING.

When I was a laurel in young womens we had a lesson about eternal marriage. We were given a paper and pen and asked to write qualities we wanted in a future husband. I decided to be incredibly specific—I mean, this was eternity! Some highlights from my list included: world class chef, great athlete, beautiful hair and “very good at math”. How grateful I am that Heavenly Father knew better.

After my husband, (then boyfriend), and I started dating I realized something. He was everything I didn’t know I wanted. He anticipated my needs before I did. He spoke kindly to his parents. He cared about my siblings. He made scripture study a priority. He was genuine. When he proposed I didn’t see it coming. We hadn’t gone ring shopping or even set a timeframe for when we would someday get married. He always pictured an unpredictable proposal and I knew I would be crazy to say no.

While life has been wonderful we have our disagreements, our good days and our bad days. Eternal marriage doesn’t guarantee an easy pass through life. Satan doesn’t want to see temple marriages succeed. All the more reason to do what we know we should and to forgive each other along the way.

How does this apply to the readers of Ruby Girl? Whether you are 16 or 24 it is a fact that you marry who you date. Choose wisely. Have a personal interview with yourself about who you will date. Does he respect your values? Does he speak appropriately around you? Are you your best self around him? Does he care about your temple goals? Don’t let your standards change based on who is asking you out. Stay strong.

“Choose to date only those who have high moral standards and in whose company you can maintain your standards. Remember that a young man and a young woman on a date are responsible to protect each other’s honor and virtue.” For the Strength of Youth

How do you keep your standards with those you date?

Author profile

A 32-year-old mother of two and wife to Brett. A lover of all things covered in sprinkles, organizing and anything New York City related. Currently calling Amsterdam home.

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  • Jane Tallmadge
    September 18, 2016 at 10:51 am

    I love this so much! Very insightful.