Advice on boys from the romantically challenged

When I was 15, I had a crush on a boy named Peter Parker*. One day at the end of cross-country practice I called my mom to ask her to come pick me up. I chatted with her for a second as my friends and I finished up our stretches. All of the sudden she stopped me, “Wait did Peter just walk past?” I was shocked, “How did you know over the phone?” She laughed and explained that my voice got louder instantaneously almost as if I was pleading for him to notice me. I told my friends what had happened and they confirmed that I had practically been shouting. This was as revelatory, as it was hilarious, as it was embarrassing.

A couple weeks ago I watched my twelve-year old friend briefly talk to a boy. After he left she turned to her sister and asked “Was I using my “girly” voice?” I smiled to myself as I realized changing your voice involuntarily might be a somewhat universal phenomenon. I was also pleased to note that I no longer yell when a boy I like walks by. In fact, as an almost 19-year-old, I am proud to announce that I can now talk to any boy, more or less, perfectly normally.

I should mention that if there is one area I know nothing about it is dating and romance. I’ve never had a boyfriend and I went a whole semester in supposed dating hot-spot, Provo, Utah, without going on a single date. Despite this, I want to give you some dating advice. The irony makes me smile too, but I think it’s worthwhile. Enough build-up, here it is:

“Either he likes you or he doesn’t.”

This means you can and should be wholeheartedly yourself. You don’t need to worry about whether you wear your hair up or down, either he likes you or he doesn’t. You don’t need to worry about doing something embarrassing or awkward, either he likes you or he doesn’t. You don’t need to worry about seeming too interested, either he likes you or he doesn’t. As I said, I can’t really vouch for the success of this advice in terms of actually getting boys, however I can tell you it makes me happy, brings me peace of mind, and helps me to not shout whenever a boy I like walks by.

*Okay, actually Peter Parker is Spiderman and I still have a crush on him. Anyone who knew me as a sophomore in high school (including the boy in question) knows the real name of my crush, but I know enough funny stories thanks to my mom’s experience in journalism that when in doubt, I always change the name.

How have you noticed people change their behavior around a crush? What’s the best dating tip you’ve ever heard?

Author profile

My hometown is San Diego, but I spent the last year in Utah attending BYU where I am studying statistics. I love the mountains, cooking, and reading. I'm heading to new mountains for my mission in Cochabamba, Bolivia. I leave June 20th, which just happens to be my birthday.

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  • Renee Hall
    May 11, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    I ❤️❤️❤️ this, Lizzy!!! Sound advice!!

  • Mary Lehnardt
    May 11, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    Lizzy, you’re just the best,

  • Annie
    May 11, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    I completely agree! I made it to 22 before I had a boyfriend…and then he turned into my husband. It’s true, “he either likes you or he doesn’t.”

  • Benj
    May 11, 2016 at 5:42 pm

    Absolutely brilliant

  • Rozy
    May 12, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Well, I’m an old lady of 58, who dated over 100 males before I got married at age 30 and I can endorse your advice wholeheartedly! You’re lucky to have figured it out so young. Blessings to you on your mission (I served one also, Florida Tallahassee).

  • Ashley Bardsley
    May 12, 2016 at 7:53 pm

    This is fabulous advice! I wish I would have read this when I was 16!

  • a bouquet of good things » Scenes from the Wild
    May 20, 2016 at 5:16 pm

    […] ADVICE ON BOYS FROM THE ROMANTICALLY CHALLENGED […]