What If I Married Into Money? — RUBY ANSWERS

Dear Ruby,

When you marry into money, is it ok to not associate with your [family + friends] anymore because they are poor?

Family Money


Dear Family Money,

It sounds like there are a lot of confusing dynamics in the works, and I don’t know all the details, obviously, so rather than answering your question with a “yes” or a “no,” I’m going to ask you a question: Where do you think your desire to disassociate from your old friends and family comes from? My guess is that there is perhaps more to the story than their material wealth and possessions (or lack thereof). Are you uncomfortable associating with them because of the way your newfamily causes you feel? Have your old friends and family perhaps caused you to feel shame because they perceive you as “better” than them? Perhaps you are harboring some deeply rooted resentments toward your past that have nothing to do with money at all. Let me be clear: the feelings you’re experiencing aren’t uncommon, and everyone undergoes periods of change and introspection caused by big life changes. Marriage is a huge adjustment and requires a lot of compromise–often to the point of changing the way you live. It’s natural to feel confused about past relationships. You shouldn’t feel ashamed that you’re experiencing these feelings, but it’s definitely a good idea to figure out why they might be occurring. When and if you do, I’d love to hear more about it.


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