Ask Ruby

with teenage girl life coach, Sami Halvereson

This month's question:

How can I not be scared about people talking bad about me?

Ruby's answer:

It’s very normal for our brains to be on the lookout for someone talking bad about us, or not liking us.


Our brains are designed for survival, and when someone rejects us in any way, we feel threatened and afraid. In order to overcome this natural part of our brains that wants to be concerned about what others think, we have to truly define ourselves and decide on our own who we are.


For example, let’s say that someone says behind my back that I have purple hair (which I totally don’t). And, even though I like purple, it’s just not my choice of hair color, so my hair is definitely not purple!  When I can be 100 percent confident that my hair is NOT purple, then whatever people say about my hair being purple, doesn’t actually matter, because, I know the truth!


What are the things about you that are true? How can you define yourself so that when people state their negative opinions of you, they won’t matter, because you already have your own? 

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