A Chest Full of Sighs

Things that make me sigh:

  1. Books. Books.
  2. People riding bikes without helmets
  3. How much I miss my Poppy Col, gone nearly 10 years
  4. Politicians on the news
  5. Not putting “Books. Books. Books (cubed)” in 7 more places in this list
  6. Airfare prices to people and places I want to see
  7. Beginning yoga poses I wobble in (i.e. most of them)
  8. Purple flowers in grass
  9. Trees silhouetted inky and glorious against a purple-red sunset
  10. Magpies singing all liquid warble and fizz after rain
  11. Flopping into bed after a big day
  12. Mountains (the foggier the better)
  13. Petrichor – the word itself, and that it is the smell of hot earth after rain
  14. Pavlova, crème caramel, Pink Lady apples

I could continue, but it’s wearying to sigh so often, so close together. Also, I’m asthmatic, and lots of sighing leads to lots of coughing which leads to more sighing once the inhaler’s kicked in…

I sigh, a lot.

I don’t mean to, it just kind of happens.  A bad habit, in some ways, a definite effort in others. Because not that long ago, I got caught up in the “to do” list of my days, and forgot all about the “To Don’t” list that should go with it. The “To Don’t” list that has stuff like “Don’t forget to brush your teeth and smile at yourself in the mirror” and don’t forget to ponder the scriptures and “don’t miss that movie you’ve been looking forward to for months” and “don’t chew your fingernails at traffic lights” and don’t you think that colour polish is gorgeous? And “don’t forget to run your hands through the mint plant late at night, so you go to bed smelling of mint and stardust”.  You know, the good “to don’t” list.

How I know I’m stressed:

  1. I’m wearing my shoulders as earrings
  2. I can’t move my neck easily
  3. I know what my ceiling fan looks like at 2am
  4. I am cranky. The cranky that takes about 3 syllables to properly explain. Craaannnkyyyyy.
  5. I haven’t done anything that makes me long-sigh.

So when I was ticking all my “How I know I’m stressed” list boxes, stressed from the “to do’s” and list checking and crankiness, I started my “Things that make me long-sigh” list. Freethinking it all onto the page, and though some cranky sighs came out, better ones followed, flooded, danced for attention and remembrance.  Just thinking about the beautiful, weird and deep treasures that filled me with good, long sighs relaxed me, made me smile, buoyed my mood and energy higher. I keep the list with me, adding to it, reading over it, smiling and long-sighing.

They are good sighs, a treasure chest of wonders, trinkets and delights that are all mine. Just as we’re going to have days that leave us crying and hurt, it’s always worth remembering wherever our treasure is, our hearts are too*. I want my heart to be full, my shoulders strong and lungs open, my soul a library of treasures, memories and joys from each day, long-sigh and thanks full.

What makes you long-sigh? Taken any deep breaths lately? What has made you stop, amazed, thinking “wowwwwwwww”?

*3 Ne 13:21

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